I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
