Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
