Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Come on in and take your pants off
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