I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
