I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
