she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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