Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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