Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
