I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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