dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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