We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
