was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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