what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
