sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
