My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
