a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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