Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
