do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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