We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
