where am i from again
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
