Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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