That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
