Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
