OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
no, he came in my armpit
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
