we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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