I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
