Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
