fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
