is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
