is your mom at the bar?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
