I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
