I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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