I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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