Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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