Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
