What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
