I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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