how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
