All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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