Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This baby is an asshole
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
