i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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