Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
