Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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