life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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