Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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