i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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