And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
