Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
