So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
