so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
