Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
